Amazon.com Review: Joyce Maguire Pavao dedicates her book The Family of Adoption in part to her two mothers, who died two weeks apart. "They both died of secrecy," she writes. "One could no longer talk, silenced by her disease. One could no longer think or remember.... I love and cherish what each of my mothers endured and imparted.... I refuse to have secrets and I work to change a system that perpetrates them."
Pavao is a nationally known family and adoption therapist who works with adoptive children and their families. Her authority and insight come from her combined experience both as a professional therapist and as an adopted child. In The Family of Adoption, Pavao describes the grief processes, dilemmas, and potentials for healing of birth mothers and adoptive parents. A strong advocate for adopted children, she discusses the difference between secrecy and privacy--a crucial distinction in adoption--and lends a strong voice to the movement for openness. Pavao is the first specialist to clearly identify and demonstrate predictable, understandable developmental stages and challenges for every adoptee (pointing out, for example, that adopted children tend to daydream, and may have a more challenging adolescence), and elucidates patterns that adoptive parents may witness as their children grow.
As adoption becomes more discussed and less taboo, the emotional road maps become clearer for adoptive families, birth mothers, and children of adoption. The Family of Adoption is a gentle, essential addition to the literature that will help guide families of adoption along the path. --Ericka Lutz
Product Description:
“An important voice in the spirited public debate over what `the best interests of the child’ are in the . . . untidy world of adoption.”—Joseph P. Kahn, Boston Globe
Joyce Maguire Pavao understands the many perspectives that come into the complicated process of adoption, and she works to make the process comfortable for all participants. As a pioneering and nationally recognized family and adoption therapist, Pavao argues eloquently in The Family of Adoption that there are predictable and understandable developmental stages and challenges for every adoptee. Pavao feels that adoptive parents, as well as teachers, therapists, and all those who work with children, must come to understand these developmental stages as normal—often challenging, but normal.
Full of wonderful stories that give insight into a wide variety of adoption issues, and now updated with a consideration of recent developments, The Family of Adoption is a powerful argument for the right kind of openness; it is truly the most insightful and healing book on the adoption shelf.
“We’ve long needed a book like Pavao’s, which looks at adoption as an idea and a process . . . I recommend it to all readers who are affected by adoption, and isn’t that all of us?” —Mary Pipher, author of Reviving Ophelia
“A commitment to placing the best interests of the child first informs every page of this excellent study of the complex psychological and social dynamics of adoptive families.” —Publishers Weekly
