This is a hard one....and any/all advice is welcome.

I have been swamped with home and work life, that finding the time to write has been more than difficult. With the hectic schedule I can barely take the time to read me favorite step-mom blogs. When I am not able to do these very key things in me life, it makes for one unhappy stepmom in our home. I miss me fellow steps. But all will get better.

Last week when I mentioned the oldest was being "a little Shite"- I just want to clarify my meaning and the reasoning behind that. (Keep in mind he is 16 1/2 and a sophomore in HS.)

1. He missed the bus four times out of five times. Causing us to change our very hectic schedule to transport him to school.

2. He came home an hour late past curfew, twice. (If it was up to me there would have been no second time)

3. After throwing a fit (b/c he missed the bus again)-He called his father a "jerk". When he did this, I simply turned to my H and asked if he had given him his allowance already for the week? He said "no". I then looked at my Step-son and said "you, just lost your allowance for the week".
This is when he lunged at me, screaming "Your not my mother, this is none of your business!!!!!"
I yelled back"I am not your Mother, but I am the Mother in this HOUSE!" (I finally said what everyone has been telling me to say.....Ha)

4. He got into several agreements with his father about "plans for the week". (he has a tendency to not let up- he gets this trait from his mother)

5. He was told that he had to go to school one day when he stated he did not feel well. He refused. (all the while staying home and sleeping all day.)

6. And then to top it off, he lied to his father. Then Friday, after school he calls his father to ask him if he can do something with his friends, and his father says "no", "you need to come home" He calls his Father an "asshole", hangs up on him, and is not heard from again for the rest of the evening. Later we heard that he stayed at his mom's for the rest of the weekend(this was last week, about 10 days ago), But in reality he stayed with his friends....

He has not been back to the house and refuses to come to his dad's for a while. (Did I mention that there were concerts that he wanted to got to this week (his dad's week), concerts that his mom will let him go to.)

Anyway, my husband has tried talking to him on the phone, my step-son's attitude is completely unapologetic. My Husband tried to set up times for them to meet to talk f2f on friday evening or Saturday morning. S-son refused both times b/c he had prior engagements (friends and sleeping).

On Sunday, the Ex was to bring all of the kids to our home on Sunday evening, she only brought the younger two.....She states that "the oldest just wants to spend a little bit more time with her this week" (even though it's my H's week and that he is not in agreement with this) But the funniest part about this is that Step-son was at his friend's house all day Saturday and on Sunday when she brought the other two home. He actually spent the night w/ his friend again on Sunday......Yep, a school night...... Yep, on his father's time........ (I too would rather stay somewhere with no consequences for my actions and get to do whatever it is I wanted)

So Step-son writes my H an email and his mom sends it to us. My H told me that he received the email (he had not read it yet). I knew what was coming.......I already knew everything this email was going to say. I have dreaded it from the moment I married my Husband. But it was inevitable................................... I told my H what the email said (without reading it). AND I WAS RIGHT ON!!!! "Since you married her, you've changed....she's changed you and I can no longer live with you......." See, I was the world's best manipulator b/w my parents and their divorce. I knew all too well what cards to play and when to play them. I knew when to bluff, and when to hold my ground. I knew all to well how to play my step-parents against my parents and vice versa.

I get it. I truly understand it. I know why he is saying what he is saying more than he does......... The hard part though, is not taking this shit personally. One minute I'm fine, the other, not so fine....