The email.........

Dear Dad,

I have been trying to talk to you about this situation for quite a while now but it seems like we are not really being receptive of one another, so I have decided to write you an email. I hope you will read and consider what I wrote before you respond.
The first thing I would like to emphasize to you is that this whole issue is not about me trying to go stay with mom because she is "not as strict as you". I think that you truely believe that this is the only reason I have decided to stay with mom and no matter what I say or do, you will probably continue to believe this. I didn't disobey you and stay at mom's last weekend and this week because you wouldn't let me do anything on Friday last week, that was just the point where I decided I've had it with the way I'm treated when I am in your care. I understand that this wasn't the proper way to handle this situation and I also apologize for being rude to you that day.
I have thought about it for the past two weeks or so and I don't feel like it's healthy for me to stay at your house anymore. The main reason for this being AnotherMama's influence on you and the family and her role as a parent. I can't handle being told what to do by someone outside of my family, it just really bothers me. You have also changed a great deal in almost every way since AnotherMama moved into our house and have basically told me to just deal with it. I also can't have a conversation with you anymore without AnotherMama butting in and stating her opinion. For the longest time now, I have been trying to fight this and try to convince you of different things but I have realized now that this is pointless. I can't change you just as you can't change me. AnotherMama is your wife and you love her, and nobody is going to convince you that she is anything but perfect, and that's fine. I just don't really want to live with her anymore.
Another issue is this constant power struggle between me and you. You are ALWAYS trying to assert your role as the parent and my role as the child. The truth is that I'm not a child anymore and I'm tired of being treated as one. You have proved to me over and over that you actually care more about being in charge or right than you care about me or my wellbeing. Some examples of this are your constant hanging-up on me when I am trying to have a calm conversation with you and you get angry, especially last Friday night when you hung up on me, blocked my calls and never ONCE tried to call anyone and see if I was OK.
I also want you to know that I appreciate everything that you have done for me. I am not trying to say that you haven't been incredibly generous and nice to me in the past and even in the last few months. But honestly, you are just really hard to get along with. I wish I could get along with you, but every interaction we have just makes me sad that we can't have a good relationship like we once did, before AnotherMama came into the picture. I am not saying I never want to come back to your house, all I am saying is that I want to rethink my schedule and my life altogether and just stay with mom for a while. You may not believe me but I doubt that you can legally force me to live with you. If you don't remember I wanted to stay with you more and used to always come stay with you on nights when I was with mom just to get a little extra time with you. I used to love going to your house because I used to really enjoy your company and we had a lot of fun together doing all kinds of things. Now, our household is really different than it used to be and I can't adjust to it.
So really dad, I wish you would just chill. There is no reason for you to freak out about me not coming to your house this week. Is it really causing you that many problems? The other week you told me I caused you a lot of stress so I would think a break would be good for you as well. I also wish you would leave my mom alone. You know that she has no control over this situation. You are making her really stressed out and sad about this situation and there's really no need for you to bring her into it. She has done nothing but encourage me to talk to you and/or go back to your house. I would like it if we could get together with you, without AnotherMama sometime so we could talk. If you would want to do that sometime then let me know.
I love you and I hope you will read this and tell me what you think.

love
your son


This is sad. Really sad. Because I really feel like he believes everything he is writing down. For one, I encourage my H and he to talk alone (all of the freakin time!!) The only time I enter the picture is if he (or anyone else) is being incredible disrespectful to anyone in our family and I call them on it. This is simply not allowed in our home.
Also- this kid calls my H and if he doesn't like what he hears (like a "no" for instance) then this kid goes irate! He hangs up on my H (again getting this trait from his mom, hence the reason we don't like to talk w/ her on the phone) and calls back and keeps on calling back no matter if my H is in a meeting or whatever, its about him and him alone.........And for him to suggest that my H does this is just absurd!!!!
And honestly, If I am part of the "problem" why then am I not to be part of the solution.???
You know why???? I'll tell you why.....because if he was to sit down with me, he knows that he can't say any of this to my face b/c it is untrue. The whole lot of it......
This kid wants to sit down and deal with this issue with his mom and dad and them alone???? How is this to help anything? They can not even get along....They don't see eye to eye on anything. He wants to be treated like an adult but yet he wants his mommy.......????













Damn it!